weak or strong?

I do not like the feeling of being weak. I like to be physically strong. I like the feeling of accomplishing things on my own. I like to be productive. I enjoy working hard and seeing results. I do not like sitting around, watching other people do things that I believe I should be doing.

That's my problem. If I truly believe God has numbered my days (Psalm 139:16), designed my steps (Proverbs 16:9) and is sovereign over all (Psalm 103:19), then I must believe that this season He has  me in....which consists of physical pain and inability to function with ease, is part of His plan for me...and for my family.

I have heard the verse ringing in my ears and deep in my heart many times over the last week.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

There are many things that I have boasted in through out my life. Weakness, has never been high on the list of things that I want to broadcast about myself. But, for the first time, He is allowing me to see the beauty in my weakness.
Because when my flesh is weak, I allow Christ to take over. When I am able to do things in my flesh, I have the allusion of doing them on my own. When I am at the end of my rope, have given up and given in, Christ becomes my all. I have found, the more I seek after Christ, the more challenging my life becomes. The more challenging my life becomes, the more I seek after Christ. And I am able to say, His grace is sufficient.
I haven't exercised in about 3 months. I used to boast in being in shape. God, in His mercy, is making sure I do not boast in a physically fit body...He wants my identity in Him.
I haven't been able to cook, clean, do laundry or care for my kids without help lately. God, in His mercy, is making sure I do not boast in my ability to be a super mom and super wife. He wants my identity in Him.
I have had countless doctors appts, dentist appts, endodontist appts, chiropractor appts, acupuncture appts, naturopath appts.....I have taken pride in my ability to care for my family and keep us healthy....God, in His mercy is showing me my health is not where I boast, but in Him ALONE.
The list can continue.

What Satan may intend to harm, God intends for good. (Romans 8:28).
I want to boast in Christ alone and know that in my difficulties, weaknesses- Then, I am strong.
I don't want to be known for things that I can do in my flesh- like be super fit, super health nut, super mom and wife....I want to be known for Christ. Because, and here is the best part-

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. (Ps.73:26)

What I do in my flesh is temporary. What I do with the strength of Christ is eternal.

So, here I am.
Kristen McCort- Knees are swollen and weak, rib popped out of place last week and still sore. back is achy constantly with a tingling going down my leg. My front tooth has now had two root canals on it and is probably going to have to be pulled soon. My flesh is definitely failing.
I'm a sinful mess. I need to ask forgiveness from my husband and kids frequently. I am in control of nothing....EXCEPT, my obedience to God.  And, of course, I fail at that too. But, that is what the Cross is for!

Join with me in boasting in your weakness and allowing Christ to do more in you than you ever thought imaginable.

trials of many kinds....

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4

When you really read this passage, it is unbelievable. First, count it joy? I don't know about anyone else, but this sinful girl really struggles to count it joy when I am under trial. And lately, my life seems to be one trial after another. But even as I write this I find it comforting, that the God and Creator of the universe would love me so deeply to discipline and make me a child of his. He is preparing His church...we are to be presented as a body without spot or blemish (Eph. 5:27). Our trials, afflictions, sufferings, and pain consecrate us, set us apart, and produce in us steadfastness....perserverance. Then, this steadfastness- firm and unwavering faith, will cause us to be PERFECT AND COMPLETE, LACKING IN NOTHING!! Wow. Do your trials cause you to rejoice? do they cause you to seek the Father more diligently? do they cause you to become blameless and pure....producing character that resembles Christ? So often, I want to run the other way. To find the quickest route out of the pain or the test I may be experiencing. But if I do that, I become like a disobedient child. But when I read Hebrews 12, I find joy in my trials- 

My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises EVERY son whom he receives. It is discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which ALL have participated, then you are illegitimate children and NOT sons. Hebrews 12:6-8

This passage can cause you to examine your faith. Which is good, after all we are called to "work out our salvation with fear and trembling" (phil. 2:12) but it can also lead to peace. I want to be a son. I want to know that the pain, whether it be physical, emotional, relational, mental...whether it be as I fight my sin, fight for my child in Haiti, fight to have joy in the midst of pain, fight to not allow the world to creep and take hold in my heart or in my family,  is not in vain. I want to know that when I finish the race, that when I stand before Christ, I will hear those words that I long to hear so that my life on this temporary earth will not have been WASTED...."well done, good and faithful servant." 

HOW GLORIOUS! 

So as Satan entices me to quit (I Peter 5:8) ..... to stop denying myself, to stop worrying about lost souls, to live for the here and now instead of keeping my eyes on eternity,  to entertain myself and to love what the world loves (comfort, easy life, prosperity, self), to not find joy in the hardship, I will press on! With the power of the Holy Spirit, I will fight the good fight of faith. I can not do it on my own, but by the One who lives inside me and whose promises are true.