I never thought I would be one to attempt to homeschool. To be honest, in my sinful self, I thought those who chose homeschooling were weird, crazy and somewhat disconnected from reality. So, either I now disagree with those old opinions I had, or I too have become weird, crazy and disconnected!
So, what happened to me?
This past spring, God began to challenge me on my ideas of what I thought our family should look like. I never had considered homeschooling, but all of a sudden, everywhere I turned, there was something going on with homeschooling. I chalked it up to coincidence....for as long as I could. Then I realized God was going to keep pursuing me until I gave up. After declaring both to God and to my husband that I was on all accounts incapable of homeschooling my children, I felt God ask me if I believed the verse that I can do all things through HIM who gives me strength....and if I believed that His strength is perfected in my weakness. Sure, I believe that. But I'm not willing to try it out here. I kept coming up with excuses to God. Surely He must remember that I have a very active baby that requires a lot of my attention and energy....that I am trying to complete adoption paperwork for our next child....that I need to cook, clean and care for a home....etc....
So, God, in His most loving and Father-like way, gave me what I needed to show me He was enough to help me homeschool my first grader and preschooler. He gave me assurance after assurance that this is in fact what I-we were to do. He had me walk into a popcorn shop that was closed for the day to the public but was filled with- you guessed it! homeschoolers and their mothers....learning and laughing together. He gave me a friend who was adamant that her children needed to be taken out of school so they could be taught the true gospel from her and her husband. He gave me my mom who was/is willing to help in anyway she can. He gave me a group of about 8-10 women who need and want to collaborate, meet, pray and learn to school our children together. He led me to a book written by a very convincing man (RC Sproul JR) that is biblically based on how and why we should be training up our children to look different than the world. These are just a few of His assurances. And He continues to show us that this is what he wants.
But the biggest thing that He did was to change my heart of stone. He has transformed yet another part of my heart and turned it into what He wanted instead of what I wanted.
I don't know how long our family will homeschool- hopefully, not one day more or one day less than God wants us too. I am learning that submission to God means not knowing. It means listening....and obeying. I am so thankful that He cared enough about me to continue to change my desires to be His. I am thankful that He cares enough about my children that He didn't stop after the first 20 times I blocked out the conviction from the Holy Spirit. I am thankful that He loves me enough to treat me like a daughter, and gently show me that He knows what is best.
